Thursday, June 28, 2012

Just an Update on my Epilepsy and a few other things...

I had a petite seizure at work this week where I became dizzy and spaced out and luckily I had my meds with me to take and after about 30 minutes I felt better but very tired and groggy and was sent home. Tomorrow is my last day on topamax and will be fully on my new meds and I hope that the transition over will be a successfull one and will will see improvement with my seizures. How are all of you with yours??? I don't know about you but I am really looking forward to getting this under control to get my license back. But one day at a time right now and I know I still have a long journey till I can get my DL back. But I pushing through it with the support of Emily and my daughter who just seems to amaze me how supportive they both are with all of this. Even my oldest son is starting to understand what's going on and he's only 4!

I am getting ready to do the 1st Annual Jurupa Valley 5k this Saturday morning at 6am with Emmy and Kaitlynn. We all will be meeting up with some other friends that will be doing it as well, it should be allot of fun.

We also picked up Kk and have her for 11 straight days!!! We are so happy about this!!!

So that's currently what's been going on. Work has been super busy, so that's job security.

I am curious on something for all my readers out there, do you consider yourselves handicapped because of your Epilepsy or just someone with a disability in life? I am interest in people's thoughts on this, so please comment on this

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Pay It Forward Through Anyway You Can

Good Morning to you all, this morning I want to agree the importance of paying it forward in life. Most of the time it doesn't cost anything but being there and a bit of your time.

I am a big advocate of this and try each and every single day to go out of my way to help someone who can really need it. It could be such a small thing to you yet be such a big gesture to the other person. Your reward, it's nothing material other than the sheer good feeling in your heart for doing something for another.

This morning I stopped off at Circle K for some coffee and water and when in line a little girl, maybe in High School was in line to buy a soda and a cup of noodles and pull out her wallet and began to cry as she realized she had no money and said to the cashier her brother keeps taking her money. She mentioned her brother was allot older. I felt bad as this appeared to be her breakfast and he brother had to drop her off very early on his way to work.

She went to put her items back and I grabbed them and looked at her and said that I will buy them this morning and that she needed to eat. She began crying and asked my why I was doing that and I expressed to her that it's not gonna cost me much and that by me doing that for her to pay it forward today to someone that she sees that needs help any form, pay it forward.

To me it only caused me under 3 bucks to make sure this high school kid good something to eat to make it thru till lunch, theses kids are our future and shouldn't have to worry about having their money being stolen by anyone, especially family. Even though I don't have control over that I had control of making sure she was abl to eat this morning.

My point in sharing this is to let you all know there is so much more we all can do in this world to help others I'd we just did so little with little gestures as they go so far!!!

Pay It Forward!!!

Much Love,

The Rev

Sunday, June 17, 2012

A Birthday/Father's Day to always cherish

This weekend has been spectacular for me, not only today I was smothered and spoiled by my family and 3 amazing children for father's day, but this year my Birthday also landed on Father's day. Yesterday we had my Birthday BBQ which was a blast and I got to do what I love doing best and grill for plenty of family and friends.

 This is my in my new apron Emmy and the kids got me!

This weekend I had a great and relaxing time with Em and the kids along with friends and family. Today being father's day I was just i awe of being surrounded by my kids and soaking up every minute of it. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend to tell you the truth. Em presented me with such a great photo in a frame this morning that captured such a special moment yesterday with my and the kids that it touched my heart so much and I loved that she did this for me.

These 3 surround my heart beyond belief and I don't know where I would be without them and I would be the man I am today without either one of them or Em, so I am a pretty lucky guy!!

I heard a poem today that really touched me and I want to share too my kids in life as a whole and growing up strong. I watched the movie "Act of Valor" today and it was an outstanding movie and in the end this was the poem that the Lt. left for his son.

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”
~ Tecumseh
This poem really hit home to me because I always try to instill in the Barton family to Em and our children to always have respect and take one day at a time. 
It's moment's like today that I am reassured on how well of a father I am. Those moments that I could have done more, or wished I could have been there still linger with me,  but I have so many opportunities for tomorrow and the next day after that. 
I have been blessed by having Kaitlynn in my life and now Emmy who blessed me with 2 amazing boys. Who needs to win the lotto when I got all this? 
I am very thankful indeed and I left my heart submerge into our family and surround myself with them. They are who I am and I wouldn't change that for anything.
Thank you my wonderful family for any amazing weekend and always supporting daddy!
I love you all very much and can't express enough how grateful I am to be blessed by you all.
One day at a time, and these memories will last a life time. God Bless you all. 
Happy Father's day to my late Grandpa Patrick Brady and late Father Larry Barton, I know they are looking down on me and are proud of me. 

Sunday, June 10, 2012

For I am magnificent......

For I am magnificent

I lay in wake of this hallow mind waiting for a shake, anyone can pass this off.

For each day I shutter when my breathe is short and my heart doesn’t beat on time and take this life from me. 

I feel my ears shatter with piecing noise of other’s beating me down with their voices and breaking my soul with their own shame.

The triggers surround me like a winter’s night of freshly laid snow on a roof top and hold me for another night.

Each day brings new challenges along with amazing chances, but some parts of me lay beneath me.

The years of jagged and offensive struggles still haunt me, and this now begins to daunt me.
Your ocean of powers that over takes my body and sinks me.

The sun rises and I open my eyes, and my soul is alive. You are behind me.

Through this life and all this strife, God you have given me my strengths that lead me, 

one that adores me, 

one that looks up to me, one that is beginning to know me….

And one that has fallen in love with me.

To be hand chosen for this path is grace in its gentlest moment, and love at its finest. Even with Epilepsy it's never beneath me to lay down to it and give up. 

My life as a father will never replace any of the other things in life that has shaped me. 

With all this that surrounds me, all that is thrown at me, all that hurts me, can never break me. You can call me all you want, you can force hate into me with all you have, but you can never stop me from moving...............

..and you can never say that I wasn’t magnificent. 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Great Things From Little Minds

We got news from Tyler's teacher on how well he is doing with his school work and behaving which is really huge for Tyler. He is listening well and in a good routine. We are so proud of him and I rewarded him for the first time for school. Here he is showing off his reward all happy and happy that he wants to treat mommy and Jacob to Ice Cream tomorrow after school. He asked me where my surprise was and I told him that he already gave me one for doing so well and Ty said that I made him happy. Great buddy moment! Than Jacob tried to steal his $5 bucks lol! ❤ my boys!!!!

On another note we are happily raising our cat's kitties for her since she amelessly wonders the house searching for food since she seems to think that she starve hear to death. I swear our cat or "Mommy kitty" as Jacob calls her is on crack because she is constantly eating. Food is her new drug. She even jumped on the dinner table last night and started eating off my plate last night. Apparently she likes Beef Stroganoff! 

So with us loving the whole kitty take over in the house, Jacob seems to just be adoring it completely and the boys are learning how to handle them better since they kinda liked picking them up by their necks or holding them upside down. But they are learning. <3 my boys!!!

Monday, June 4, 2012

My Boy's Innocent Eyes....

So after having a long crazy hell of a day, I got home and instantly felt relaxed, thank goodness!!!!

The boys played, Em ran out to grab dinner, and I had a conference call with Epilepsy Education Everywhere foundation and found out some outstanding news. News I can't say yet until it's official.

I have been sick to my stomach almost all day long and not feeling right. I believe I had a small seizure during my sleep last night as I had all my regular symptoms. I had just sat down at dinner tonight, and as Em was dishes out our orders, I reached for my fries and noticed my left hard starting to tingle/shake and instantly went into a Gran Mal seizure from what Emilee told me.

Emilee was right next to me within seconds and held me to make sure I didn't fall out of my chair. She said it was about a minute an a half and when I came too both my boys where staring at me and realized I was in pain. My poor boys got to see their father have a seizure right there at dinner

As I came too, I could hear Tyler talking with a worried voice asking Emilee about why I was hurting and sick.. Then Tyler asked me if I was OK, but Jacob just sat there looking at me and started eating his french fries.. They both just sat there starring at me with their little Innocent eyes. I hope that they don't ever have to end up with Epilepsy, nor ever have to see me go through this again. I could see their eyes and the wonder in them as they just sat there so curious and patient. I pray for a cure for Epilepsy not for myself, but for my children in case they ever have it, or their kids and our future's kids.

It broke me down last night completely. Not only did I just have a flat out bad day at work and stressful one, but to have that happen in front of my boys at dinner just took it over the top for me. I shortly went to be after that.

This morning I am feeling a bit better, my head still hurts, but I did get some ok sleep. So I am hoping for a less stressful day. I promised my boys to take them on a bike ride when I get home today from work. So I am looking forward to that.

Respect and Frustration.....

Wow, today was a whirlwind for me and just to busy and overwhelming. 

In every profession you have “that guy”. Do not let that person let you think we are all like that. I am here to help you. I am here to provide knowledge and a different perspective to your meeting. I don’t tell you how to be an accountant. But I will tell you what can and can not be accomplished with our technology and limitations. We are geeks, we want the latest and greatest in tech and make amazing things happen. We are not trying to make your job harder. Limitations are set by regulation or management or budget. If there was something that would make your job easier and make you a better accountant or admin type we would be glad to make it happen for you. We dont know everything but this is our job. Just like you had to go to school for your occupation and that is what you focus on, the same applies for us.

But what really makes us go crazy is that you think we don't want to help you. No we cant wave a wand over it and say "hocus pocus" and everything will be better. Technology fails sometimes. Yes it sucks that you clicked through the error message and it takes us longer to figure it out because we don't know what the computer said was wrong. Yes we have to Google stuff, random things that when we do one thing one time does not work this time and we need more info. Sometimes we dont have the parts or we can not save your hard drive. It frustrates us just as much as it frustrates you that the problem wont re-create itself when we get there. We do believe you have a problem but machines can just be a temperamental beast.

Just don't question my Skills, Integrity, and Qualifications. I don't know what it takes to do your job, and you don't know what it takes to get mine. Both were hard to do in different ways. I could not do your job and you could not do mine. Have people scammed the system and got a certification with out having the proper prerequisites? Of course. In my job and yours. Was that other IT a jerk? Yeah so was that other HR person we helped yesterday. Do not mock what you don't know. Do not blame if you don't know why. We need to work together to get it done. There is no us against them mentality. Just take things in perspective because it is not you we are picking on. The rules apply to everyone, the crashes happen to everyone, and if we cant fix it we are truly sorry.

Your IT guys never get any love. Maybe you do not either, but it is always easy to blame the ITs in the heavy technology corporate environment. Don't take the easy way out and blame IT maybe a look at the big picture will put things in perspective. 

Thank you!!

Yours truly, 

Your IT Guy!