Sunday, March 17, 2013

What's Next For Me,



In this moment I am in with this life I have has been an outstanding new chance to improve my relationship with myself and the things I have broken which I am in the process of healing. This leave I have been on and soul searching I have done has been amazing. It's been allot of hard work and I have faced challenges that I would have walked away before in the passed but I am finding myself able to face and handle them and close chapters of things to move forward.

This life of serenity has become a blessing each any every single day. The love that surrounds me and my children are all that I need. I am blessed with them in my life. I have been seizure free for 2 months now and it's been amazing. Along the way of becoming healthier mentally and physically I have found things to become more clear and able to resolve conflicts I have had by accepting them. I have also lost more weight and feel physically better as days past. I return to work in a week and I am looking forward to that. I am a little nervous about it, but at the same time I get to take things as they come and get back on track with my life and concentrate on my career and provide for myself and my children. 

I still have so much work ahead of me and I am gradually taking things as they come and I know that I am only getting stronger. I know my meds for my epilepsy are working well and I hope to continue seizure free and in 4 months if I am still seizure free I can get my license back and be able to have a more reliable way of getting around even if I have to rent a car occasionally to get around or go visit my children. But I know that's still some time off and I have to concentrate on today. 

I never thought I would end up where I am at right now at the age of 34, but in all reality, I am grateful just to be alive after all the hell I caused. It's a glorious feeling to be in recovery and have the support to manage a better life and feel God working in me. 

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or tomorrow morning, or next weekend, but I know right now, at this moment, I am ok, content, and grateful. Today I am doing the best I can and I am at ease with that for once in my life. :) 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, Jonny you are such an inspiration to me and I'm sure many others. After the trials that you have faced in life and you still carry a positive and humble attitude just shows that God is good and working in your life. Keep your head held high my friend because you have so much to be proud of. :)
~Kel

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robin cooper said...

i completely understand. epilepsy found me at 37. they actually thought it was heart problems. found out at 43 it was epilepsy. trying to start support group for folks. see my blog that I just started july 2013 at rusomebody.com

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